


avoiding tomorrows

by gavinsaleks (ohmaggies)



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Arguing, Developing Relationship, Fake Chop, Feelings Realization, Friendship, It's 2016, M/M, set after aleks and james leave the creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 19:00:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15322134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmaggies/pseuds/gavinsaleks
Summary: “Were you… thinking about going back?” James says, the way his voice is soft and open pulling at something in Aleks. It’s too vulnerable, so much so it hurts to hear. “To Jordan, or whatever.”“No.”“Okay, good. That’s good.”





	avoiding tomorrows

**Author's Note:**

> i'm working on stuff at the moment but got the inspo to write this last night and typed it up super quick at like 3am when i should've been asleep. aka i'm sorry about any typos. & 2016 james and aleks is my favourite thing to write so this was super fun! thanks for reading  ♡.
> 
> \- rachel.

They leave their past crew, and it doesn’t make Aleks upset like he would’ve thought, and he doesn’t feel alone or scared or worried about the uncertainty of this future ahead of them. He’s relieved, in a way, his knuckles white as they grip the steering wheel with his eyes split between the currently red traffic lights in front of him and the man-- the _friend_ \-- asleep in the passenger seat beside him.

This, if he’s being entirely honest, was James’ doing. Them, on their own with only each other, in a beat up car they can barely afford, and an address printed in Aleks’ mind; James had mentioned he had a few friends who would take them in until they could get on their feet, and Aleks wasn’t going to turn down that offer when the only other alternative was trying to survive on the streets until they could find something. And, they probably wouldn’t find something, not when the only people they’ve ever been loyal to is each other.

Jordan wasn’t mad, he wasn’t but Aleks thinks maybe he should’ve been. He’d nodded and said okay when they told him, after Aleks had spent weeks lying in bed awake at night turning James’ proposition of leaving over and over in his head. They couldn’t have stayed, even if they wanted to, because they outgrew Jordan and his crew, and Aleks and James were never ones to stick to a schedule like Jordan had so desperately hoped for them.

End of the day, maybe they’ve fucked up, maybe they’ve made a mistake and this will blow up in their faces some day. End of the day, maybe Aleks wants more than anything for this risk they’ve taken to work out. Just to prove to everyone that they can do it, and they can make it on their own like they did before Jordan.

“Light’s green,” James murmurs, his voice thick and weary with sleep, and Aleks looks over at him. “...And now it’s red, again. Good thing we’re not driving during the day, you’d have someone up your ass cursing you out for not knowing how to drive.”

“I can drive fine,” Aleks argues, turning his attention back to the road as if to prove his point. “I was just-- thinking. About stuff.”

“About Jordan?”

Aleks clears his throat, pressing gently on the accelerator as the light shifts once again to green. His voice shakes more than he’d like when he speaks, and if he could see James, he knows exactly the expression he’d be able to see painted on his face: “No.”

“Then what were you thinking so hard about you missed the three minute long green _fuckin’_ light, Aleksandr?”

Aleks doesn’t want to answer so he doesn’t, choosing silence and the guise of driving as a reason why. James sighs and leans back in his seat, something about the simplicity and how unlike James it is to give up tells Aleks that this is far from over. When they’re with James’ contacts, James will ask again, and Aleks will find it hard to lie or ignore it so he’ll have to tell the truth. Yes, he was thinking about Jordan, and yes, he missed the green light that gave him more than enough time to go, but no, he doesn’t think they made a mistake leaving.

He’s glad they did, and he’d do it again if given the option. They’ve always worked better just the two of them, so maybe it’s a little difficult to find the guilt at leaving that Aleks thinks he should have. Guilt or sadness or regret, or something other than a kind of thankfulness and wayward hope towards what the future holds for them. If James’ friends turn out to be good, he and Aleks could probably stay with them until they find their feet, or until they manage to get a place together without having to worry about money.

“Were you… thinking about going back?” James says, the way his voice is soft and open pulling at something in Aleks. It’s too vulnerable, so much so it hurts to hear. “To Jordan, or whatever.”

“No.”

“Okay, good. That’s good.”

In the passenger, James sits up and pushes his beanie up on his head, his hair short and hanging at his shoulders. He’s more awake now, and as grateful as Aleks is that he’s not going to spend the rest of this journey alone, he’s not entirely sure he’s prepared to talk about this. Whatever _this_ is. He doesn’t want to talk about it, would be a good thing to say to James before a conversation is started that Aleks refuses to partake in; except, he can feel James’ gaze boring into him and knows it’s too late to say that, not when the barely awake gears in James’ head are already turning.

Another red light, a car speeding past in the opposite direction when the driver notices the blurring green of their light. Aleks has never been fond of traffic, and he’s guessing it’s going to be worse here closer to the city than it would’ve been back where he and James lived with Jordan and the others. One car, that’s all, but it’s sometime past one in the morning and he had expected to see no one on the roads at this time, that or he’s just trying to think to avoid his nerves.

“Green,” James says, again, and Aleks drives.

Aleks still remembers yesterday morning, eighteen hours ago with the cold air and the dull sun, and James’ presence pressed against Aleks’ side as he slept.

They’d been planning to leave for weeks, their things packed by the front door and their bedrooms bare, nothing but the comfort of the couch and each other, and the television playing an old movie they’d borrowed from Kevin years ago and forgotten to give back. James, hair secured in place with a beanie and laughing as he buried his hands under Aleks’ shirt, fighting for the warmth while Aleks yelped at the cold contact against his skin.

Looking back on it, it feels like it could’ve been weeks ago. Not yesterday morning, not less than twenty-four hours ago, not something they’d been meaning to do for so long but never had the guts or motivation to until James got tired of things and decided it was time to go. For him, and for Aleks, because James wouldn’t have left unless Aleks went with him, and Aleks wouldn’t have let James go if he didn’t want to go with him. It’s just how they work, and how they’ll always work no matter what.

Aleks, no matter how terrifying it is to be on their own, wouldn’t have wanted it to go any other way.

They’ve only been away for seven hours and the future is already staring them dead in the eye, daring them to do anything or something or to kick themselves in the mouths and run back to Jordan because they’re scared. They’re not. Or, at least Aleks doesn’t think they are. The situation is terrifying but they’re not scared, just worried and unsure, and in Aleks’ case, a little confused. Not about leaving, or about Jordan, but about what this means for him and James.

Their uncharted future, and the morning of yesterday when Aleks couldn’t stop thinking about certain things he knows he shouldn’t be thinking about.

He loves James and they’ve been friends for too long for him to lie and say he doesn’t. But, sometimes, lines get crossed and things get blurred, and Aleks was tired so maybe—

Maybe it doesn’t matter. Any of it. Even the waking up with James resting against him, cramped together on a too small couch in front of a television they forgot to turn off before they fell asleep, and how Aleks was too occupied staring at James to bother waking him up. His eyes were closed, the under of them purpling from lack of sleep, his beanie half off his head and his hair loose around him, the hand not in his own lap tangling its fingers through one of Aleks’ hands.

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

At a slower pace, Aleks manages to cast a glance at James in the passenger seat, how tired he is yet how his eyes brighten as the streetlights catch them. The same James that Aleks remembers, a steady reminder that this isn't a dream and it's definitely real and yesterday morning was real, too. And, James is good-looking, Aleks would have to be blind to say he's not. He _is_ , and Aleks doesn't know why he's thinking about it but he is, so.

“What?” James, his body turned towards Aleks the slightest bit.

“Nothing, dude,” Aleks murmurs, suddenly shy and cursing the light ahead as it flickers from yellow to red. “Why does it have to be… fucking something?”

“You were the one staring at me,” James says, in a confident self-defence that makes Aleks wish James wasn't so smug all the time. Even when he's wrong, that same smug grin he's trying to hide now that Aleks doesn't miss when he glances at him. “Focus on the road, before we… crash or something.”

“I was!” Aleks argues, but the fight has already left his voice. “You focus on fucking driving, you bitch.”

James laughs, and Aleks wants to reach over and shove him just to teach him a lesson. _Prick_.

“I'm not the one driving, why should I focus on it instead of you, who's behind the wheel of my car and looking at me instead of the road? You're a dumbass, I hope you fucking know that.”

Aleks exhales deeply, eyes caught now on the road ahead despite their insistence on having one more look at James. Aleks is thankful they're here, that's all, though it has more to do with him being here with James than it has to do with him being all at it. He doesn't care about the city and he never has, but he's been staring at a map of it for days and there are so many places to go, and so many things here that James would love.

They know eachother better than they know themselves, in spite of their arguing and joking and penchant for purposefully pissing one another off at every chance they get. Like now. All the things in the world for the universe to get right, and it does this. And Aleks wouldn't change it. Not him, not James, not all the shit they had to go through to be here, not the way Aleks feels about James with words he could use to describe it that he won't.

Well, maybe with three. But he won't say them.

“Are you listening to me?” James, his voice too loud for the small car and and the short distance between he and Aleks. “You not listening?”

“No?”

“Bastard. You absolute bastard, Aleksandr.”

Aleks loosens his too tight grip on the steering wheel, eyes focused ahead but moving to take in the view of James' on his right. All the things for the universe to get right and it did this; Aleks just hopes it knows what it's doing because he sure as hell doesn't. 

**Author's Note:**

> _links:_
> 
>  
> 
> personal tumblr [here](http://gavinsaleks.tumblr.com) !  
> new cowchop sideblog [here](http://linzbots.tumblr.com) !  
> writing sideblog [here](http://fakespoetry.tumblr.com) !
> 
>  ♡.


End file.
